Over the course of the past year, students in Grosshuesch and Muehlmeier have found that the fire alarms have a bit of a sensitive temperament. Simple dishes like scrambled eggs and microwave popcorn have caused mass fire alarms. Furthermore, many students are, to be blunt, terrible cooks. The amount of fire alarms caused by microwavable mac and cheese that has no water is extremely high.

Because of these reasons, students should reconsider cooking in the dorms unless necessary. The inconvenience caused by the alarm system is unfair to all students whose lives are interrupted every time someone decides they want to try to become Gordon Ramsey.

Students should reconsider all cooking and refrain from cooking at inconvenient hours. For example, making pork chops at 3:00 am on a Tuesday morning can be a bit annoying when the fire alarms go off. So please, if you are reading this and you cook in the new buildings, reconsider your decisions.

Potential recipes for cooking in the new dorms:

Go to the cafeteria or download Door Dash.