The Lakeland Mirror

Inspiration with Lindsey: Discovering non-romance

Lindsey Vagnini, Ad Manager

A former professor from a previous college I attended said to our class one day, “If love ends, it’s not.”

At first, I didn’t believe it; but then I discovered love has many meanings, some of which romance is the distant cousin, not the boyfriend/girlfriend who is over-spilling in compliments of warm fuzziness.

This form of love I refer to as ‘non-romance.’ You might be thinking, ‘Okay, I don’t get it, and how is the lack of romance a good thing?’

1 John 5:18 (NIV) is a good starting point to explaining what the heck all this talk of non-romance means: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.”

This verse might seem confusing, a little intense even by including the word ‘punishment,’ but, believe me, the point is worth the coming explanation.

We all have had disappointments in life, and love is no exception. In some ways, romantic relationships can, and at least once or twice, have disappointing moments.

So, essentially, this verse combines fear and punishment as two aftermath effects of non-love.

These moments can be a version of the ‘punishment’ described in this verse.

Punishment is something that usually is painful, and in this context, it describes the unromantic love to be something you can trust because you don’t have to fear it will leave, disappoint or not fulfill what you need from it.

That is not to say romance is not good. On the contrary, having something even more reliable than romantic love for those in entangled and unentangled relationships could be strengthened by finding non-romance first.

For the moment, I will call this non-romance ‘Mr. Unconditional.’

‘Mr. Unconditional’ never leaves you alone; he never minds if your entire wardrobe came from a secondhand store, and accepts when you can’t do something with a compassionate spirit.

In fact, he constantly reminds you that your life means more than anything a relationship partner can tell you and make you feel; he instills a stable place in the passing of and in the establishment process of romantic relationships.

Non-romance is a different form of the ‘love’ we mentally associate after seeing this overused four letter word.

Some might beg to differ about the idea of love being a committed or noncommitted romance; I respect this reality.

Obviously, there is an importance to romantic relationships, but those can sometimes be unsteady and we might need something just a little more reliable than our ever-changing feelings.

I suppose it’s a little early to talk about love, considering Valentine’s Day is not quite here yet. Instead, I chose this topic because it might bring a new meaning to this holiday.

Real love is something time reveals and it is not always found in romance. If what my professor suggests is true, and love in physical human sense” ends, than finding an alternative form that does not could be a handy tool for us all to have.  

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1 Comment

One Response to “Inspiration with Lindsey: Discovering non-romance”

  1. Julie Schmidt on February 9th, 2016 1:45 pm

    I don’t understand this article whatsoever.

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Inspiration with Lindsey: Discovering non-romance