Men and the death of civility

Leah Ulatowski , Copy Editor

As seen in my last column, “Modern Feminism: An Abomination to Women,” I’m the furthest thing from a feminist. Surprisingly, men regularly call me one. Why? I stand against the objectification of women, and find it acceptable to use the “it’s my body” argument only when telling a man to respect it.

Before attending college, I was aware of chivalry’s death but failed to realize civility had gone down with it. Freshman year, I received indecent invites from strangers long before anyone ventured to ask for a McDonald’s date. It was troubling to be continually pestered by the same men even after responding with a resolute “NO.”

The “boys will be boys” ideology is detrimental to the male population; there is almost no stigma associated with men who engage in promiscuity or pornography, but the consequences of their actions are very real. Aside from the string of hearts they leave behind, these men risk becoming socially inept when it comes to having meaningful relationships with women.

Society has failed men by dubbing pornography addiction “healthy and normal.” Boys grow up viewing women as meat because they’re allowed to explore such material beginning in elementary school. Older generations are oblivious to the evolution of the industry with technological advancement; it is much more troublesome than the magazine subscriptions of old.

Porn contorts men’s perceptions of women into unachievable fantasies that hurt everyone. In the end, they are the ones that pay as increasing numbers of young men are unable to achieve stimulation from a real, breathing female due to their addiction.

As for promiscuity, disease and unplanned pregnancy are lifelong consequences, and the fact that some women experience distress after casual sex due to the bonding hormone (oxytocin) is scientifically proven. Nevertheless, if none of that means anything to men looking for a moment’s pleasure, they should at least learn to take “NO” for an answer.

Websites like “Return of Kings” say asking for consent “ruins the moment.” Unless a guy has put a ring on it or doesn’t mind a rape conviction, it’s common decency to refrain from jumping a woman before some form of consent, and remember that “no” means “NO.”

It doesn’t mean pressure her into saying “yes” or continually pester her until she happens to be vulnerable. Women vow virginity until marriage because of deep set personal or religious values; even if a man cannot wrap his mind around the decision, he must sympathize with the emotional distress that follows the compromising of her pledge. She’s more than a “disease-free option.”

In my opinion, there is nothing manly about being pushed around by a bunch of hormones. Most college “players” grow up to appreciate women with integrity, and the transition to stability is easier without the baggage that accompanies irresponsible decisions. When players have little girls of their own, they may realize that every woman is another man’s daughter.

Men appear indignant about the disrespect some modern women show them. Well, how about more men give them something to respect and refrain from turning more innocent girls to radical feminism with their sheer callousness?

Kudos to all the men who fight the good fight, and to the others: learn to take “no” for an answer and don’t be offended if a girl calls you out for not having the gallantry to look her in the eye or to bring her to McDonald’s before your bedroom.

Long live civility!