“New Moon,” the sequel to “Twilight”, premieres on Nov. 20, and if you think I’ll be dressed in a black hoodie attempting the task of inconspicuousness as a guy in a line composed almost exclusively of teenage girls, you clearly aren’t familiar with “how I roll.”

Some hours before midnight on the nineteenth, I plan to define “conspicuous” by donning my now several months in-the-works, and I’m proud to say, fully completed werewolf-ware aimed at capturing the spirit of the newest characters in “New Moon” and my own enthusiasm for Stephanie Meyer’s sequel-gone-film. According to my own realist standards, the costume certainly makes me worthy of a spot in the Quileute wolf pack and, with some extensive leadership courses, might even put me in the running for Alpha sometime in the near future.

While my werewolf guise would undoubtedly gain me admission into the Quileute ranks, I became wary that the costume was a tad too lifelike and, if possible, accomplished too thoroughly the effect Meyer intended when drafting her vampire foils. Indeed, one night I walked into a gas station after a period of prowling about my house in the costume and a pale fellow purchasing a red Snapple remarked snidely to me, “You smell.”

When he sped out of the parking lot in an expensive-looking car, I made up my mind that I’d just seen a vampire. Red Snapple possibly containing imported blood, driving a fast car more than ten miles over the limit, saying that I smelled after I’d just been running around in my heavy, sweat-inducing wolf suit for several hours—the evidence made it undeniable.

I decided that the only place worth risking a serious brouhaha with my impersonators’ mortal enemies, vampires, was during New Moon’s opening night—a night that promises to heavily contrast its antecedent. Essentially, Twilight detailed the way that a lion (Edward Cullen) abstains from the lamb chops most appealing to his vampire taste buds (Bella Swan’s blood), because he falls in love with the lamb chops. In “New Moon,” Edward takes this abstinence a step further, not only denying himself Bella’s blood but completely cutting off his relationship with her.

Plenty of relationship-based twists occur in “New Moon,” and the firing of “Twilight” director Catherine Hartwicke for Chris Weitz, one of the fine minds who challenged the idea that a pie can’t be a viable sexual partner, encourages me tremendously. Hartwicke obviously understood that sex sells as the members of her handpicked “Twilight” cast all share a unifying characteristic—they’re attractive. Weitz employed actors of a similar mold in “American Pie,” but unleashed their full potential by taking their clothes off.

Weitz’s equation, which nearly guarantees a box-office juggernaut, would increase the quality of “New Moon.” Events from the book are bound to be cut from the film—they always are in books this extensive (ex. “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban”—Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup for crying out loud!). Likewise, events not in Meyer’s novel will probably be added to the film. Why shouldn’t Kristen Stewart show a substantial amount of skin in some or all of these add-ons? If Hartwicke deemed that it was necessary for Edward to give Bella a piggyback ride and say, before jumping from a tree, “You’d better hold on tight spider monkey,” is it asking too much of Weitz to include all of the sex that Stephanie Meyer must have been keeping from us?

And of the true-to-plot scenes, I’m excited for those as well. To elucidate how absolutely engrossed I was while reading the book would be a waste of my time and yours, but I will say that I, A) read it in less than a day, B) devoted a clever Facebook status to my reading of it (Danny is intoxicated on New Moonshine).

Now that I think about it, there is no way the movie version of “New Moon” will live up to the expectations I shaped for it upon reading the book. You won’t catch me in a werewolf costume around midnight of the twentieth. Maybe in an inconspicuous hoodie, but never as a werewolf.