Perhaps it is because I am a writing major and am particularly fond of and wish to make my living through the use of words that this topic, or more specifically slang, can sometimes irritate me to great degrees.

I hear people say they “can’t even,” with that being the entire thought, and my eye twitches a little bit because that doesn’t even make sense. You ‘can’t even’ what? Finish a thought? What are you even saying!?!

I admit, I am no stranger to slang in casual language. However, when I use it, it either makes sense in the situation or the way in which it is being used is clearly as a joke.

Let me explain: Have I said the phrase, “I can’t” before? Yes. In the context of discussing something of mounting frustration and then using it with the implied meaning already explained beforehand so it actually makes sense.

Have I used the ridiculous “totes” before? Yes. As sarcasm, when replying to something my mom asked me, and I said, “Oh, totes,” and she rolled her eyes at me because she knows I’m being a jerk.

But when I constantly hear people using any of the following words, it makes me cringe: can’t even, awesomesauce, cray, amazeballs, totes, or any other stupid words or word combination.

Why does it make me cringe? Because you sound like an idiot and you are ruining the English language.

Some might argue how is language ever supposed to evolve if it does not change and morph? This is a valid point. It is true that this is how language has evolved in the past and has to happen in order for the advancement of language to occur.

But the crap that I am hearing and talking about, that is polluting my ears today, this junk is going to be responsible for the inevitable de-evolution of language.

So for those of you that can’t even, I won’t even. And if your first thought on reading that was ‘won’t what?’ as it rightly should have been, then I think I’ve made my point.