1. Consume candy
No. Inhale it. Forget the cute trick or treaters and stuff your face full of those snickers like you know you will.

2. Embrace your inner slut
By wearing the most fashionable of outfits: sexy Donald Trump.

3. Learn some tricks
Everyone focuses on treat, not trick. Imagine your roommate’s face when you pull a jack-o’-lantern out behind your ear.

4. Yell
At those darn kids to get off your lawn. Or geese.

5. Eat a turkey
It’s close enough to Thanksgiving that you can ignore Halloween, right?