Dear Davida,

I’m a single guy who just spent the loneliest Valentine’s Day ever. I’d really like to find someone and have a real relationship, but I have one problem—I’m so boring! I admit there isn’t much variety in the music I listen to or the books I read. I also have a tendency to talk at length about things that interest me but no one else, and it usually occurs to me after the fact that my listeners were probably tuned out the whole time. I don’t really put much effort into my appearance and whenever I try to talk to a girl, it usually goes nowhere. How can I be interesting enough for someone to like me?

May Cause Drowsiness

Dear Drowsiness,

I think we’ve all met someone who put us to sleep when they opened their mouth (not counting professors!), and it’s interesting to hear from someone of that type. You say that your media consumption is relatively limited. Obviously, this makes it difficult to find common interests with prospective dates. You might be firmly established in your preference for Scandinavian metal bands, but what’s stopping you from giving other kinds of music a try? Not only might you find something you like that is out of your comfort zone, but you’ll be able to form an opinion you can articulate about during a conversation. You might not like “Uptown Funk,” but at least you can say you’ve heard it. Make it a goal to try one book (or album or movie) you normally wouldn’t each week. As far as your appearance, you don’t have to put a lot of effort into it in order to be interesting. See if you can identify your personal style and develop it further, or introduce something unusual into your wardrobe and hope people will ask about it. But make sure you don’t monopolize the conversation and drone on and on. The more you listen, the more you’ll learn, and the more interesting things you’ll have to contribute to the conversation. Don’t change yourself to impress other people—instead, find the aspects of your personality that make you unique and own it. Hopefully you’ll be able to broaden your horizons and meet the girl of your dreams—without having to buy her a Red Bull before engaging her in conversation.